Dear Middle Schooler

Dear Middle Schooler,

I see you on your hard days. I see that zit forming on the center of your face, looking at me like headlights set on high beams. I see those pants that have gotten just a little too short because you grew three inches overnight. I see that your best friend suddenly decided to ignore you for no apparent reason. I see that your parents are going through a divorce and you can’t possibly imagine how you will make it through the day, let alone first hour.

I see you, and I know it’s hard. If you polled the entire universe (aliens and all), and asked them what age they wished they could go back to--not a single solitary soul would say twelve. Not. A. Single. One. Because being twelve is like getting a sweaty hug while being kicked in the shins. Being a middle schooler is like lying in the middle of the road and getting run over by a steamroller, and then being scraped off the road and put on the schoolbus because you still have to go to school (Flat Stanley style).

Middle schooler, I’ve also seen you on your good days. I saw you make that basket. I noticed your good hair day. I cheered when you finally got the answer. I saw you on top of the world.

But I don’t need to talk to good day kid. I need to talk to hard day kid. Before I do, I need to start by telling you how much I love being your teacher. It may not seem like that on a Monday morning after “so and so” threw a pencil across the room, but the fact that I love teaching, and that I love teaching middle school will always be there (it’s just buried very deeply some days). I also need to tell you what I know about your situation.

Here’s what I know, hard day kid. I know that middle school is often overlooked. It’s a place where a bunch of awkward preteens are shoved in between childhood and adulthood.

I know that middle school is important. It’s where you establish your reading, study, sleep, and social habits. It’s where you start to think critically about your beliefs and values. This means you might start questioning why things are the way they are (much to your parents’ dismay). You’ll learn what you like and you will make thousands of new connections in your brain just by trying new things and taking risks.

I know that middle school is a little scary.  You can develop insecurities and suddenly become afraid to do something you’ve done thousands of times before. You might start to worry about what others think, and you might change the way you look because of that. You might become fixed in your ways and stop trying new things because you are afraid to fail.

So, middle schooler, I know that you had a hard day, or maybe you a hard week, month, or even year. And look, I know it’s been a couple decades since I was in your shoes, but I know a few things about what it’s like to be you.

Here’s what I really, really, really need you to know, hard day kid.  There are only two, so hang in there.

The first thing you need to know is you have to hold onto that younger version of yourself that isn’t afraid to try new things, the version of you that laughs at silly things, the version of you that loves to play games, the version of you that has an imagination as vast as the ocean and as wild as a twister. Grab onto those qualities and hold on for dear life.  They are that precious. The adults in your lives (including me) might sometimes tell you to hide this side of you, or even worse, they might tell you to get rid of it, but this side of you is what makes life worth living. It will be your reason for getting up in the morning even when your grownup self is having a hard day.

Now, life requires balance.  Yin and Yang, Ch’i, Zen, whatever you call it--finding harmony in our lives is so important to growing up.

Alright, here’s where my boring teacher voice comes in, but remember, I care about you hard day kid, and I would do anything to help you (aside from committing a crime for you). The second thing you must do is start to develop the part of you that is becoming more independent, more thoughtful, more empathetic, and more responsible. Without these qualities, your imaginative side is at risk of spiralling out of control, which in the end, will not lead to happiness.

How do you develop these two sides, you ask? Well, in order to keep that wild imagination, you must turn off that video game for a while and experience the outdoors. You must read like it quenches the thirst in your mind. You must stop and weigh the evidence before you pick a side. You must listen to others like they are the most fascinating people on Earth. You must take ownership when you make a mistake. To do so takes incredible practice and discipline.

Both of these sides of you will take HARD WORK to develop, but, hard day kid, it is so worth it.

So, what’s the cure for a hard day? Sometimes, nothing. Sometimes, the only cure is time. But I promise you, that if you work on those two sides of yourself, you’ll be able to deal with those days like a pro.

So hike up those already too short pants and wear a smile that makes your braces twinkle like the stars. Keep your past and your future in check because the best part of your life is starting right now if you choose to own it. And, by the way, use deodorant...seriously, you guys stink sometimes.  

Love,

Your Teacher

P.S. Here's a picture of me during my middle school years, just in case you thought I had it easy.